Articles - Chez Raginiak

Three years ago, during the toughest economy since the Great Depression, I gave in my notice to a wonderful high-tech company, where I made very, very good money, as a matter of fact. And this happened mainly because of the book, A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink.

You will ask me, “Why?” Maybe I’ll start from the beginning …

To begin with, a bit about statistics …
The earnings of the average American have risen threefold since the 1970s. The size of houses and apartments has also increased quite radically. It could consequently be expected that, proportionally, people should be much happier. The University of Michigan is one of the leaders in sociological research. It was there that the “feeling of satisfaction and happiness” among Americans was examined and it turns out that the ‘feeling’ has not grown by even one per cent in the last 40 years!
That’s why reading these research results brings an old saying to my mind: “Money doesn’t bring happiness.”
It turns out that people are increasingly using such books as:
- The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren (bestseller for the last 10 years)
- or Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
So what is going on?

Some call it “the times of communication,” other people write that finally, thanks to technology, we are starting to conduct dialogue with others, with ourselves and with our hearts and dreams. What is happening now in the USA (it is similar in England, Japan or Germany) is happening for the first time in the history of mankind.
We can and want to live a:
- full,
- our own,
- exciting,
- special LIFE,
where self-actualization knocks at our doors 24 hours a day and ‘shouts,’ “I want in!”

The main reason for such a phenomenon in the United States is among others the ageing society. On average, one hundred additional persons turn 60 every 18 minutes. When they do, they are asking themselves such questions as:
1. Is what has happened to me so far everything I’ve been capable of in my life?
2. How many years do I still have left?

When they assume, for example, that they have 25 years left and look back at the same time, they are often shocked by the fact that these last 25 years have passed with lightning speed.
They are then asking themselves next questions:
- How will I spend the rest of my life?
- Will I finally be doing what I love?
- What will I leave behind?

This is often a kind of a turning point. Many Americans close their ‘old life’ then and open a new one. The time of self-actualization, fulfilment of dreams, and passions begins. Do you think, however, that such existential reflections seize only ‘old-timers’?

It turns out that many young people or middle-aged persons more and more often ponder on whether they are doing what they really want to do in their lives. Whether they realize through work also their passions. Many of us simply mechanically bash out full-time work, looking forward every day to 5 P.M.

Do YOU also catch yourself feeling that something is wrong? Maybe you even have a good, important, excellently paid job and theoretically everything is fine.

And yet you feel subconsciously that something is missing. You feel that you are not walking YOUR ROAD, that you are not giving to the world who you really are and that you are not using your strongest talents to the full.

This SOMETHING was once reserved only for ‘fortune’s darlings’–wealthy people, kings, men and women of power. Now, in a world in which you have access to new technologies, the Internet, you have the same chances of success as the richest people in the world. The speed of information exchange allows us to do in a second something which once would have taken a week. Moreover, the cost of such information is minimal.

Kraszewski (famous Polish author, 1812 – 1887) wrote already many years ago that we were born for ‘certain things’:
There are people born for certain things, who before they find their true path, they seem insignificant and await their hour. And when they are put by fate on the road which they should choose, they grow overnight and become DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS!

I think that from time to time we all ask ourselves the question if we do what we should do, if we live our own life, if we are capable of more … We often feel unhappy and we are not filled with real satisfaction, pride and passion. Often a more expensive house or car cannot fill our heart.
Do you also feel like that? And at the same time you carry some glimmer of hope or of a special dream which you would like to fulfil, but maybe you lack courage?

Such questions and dilemmas got hold of me some time ago.

One time, together with my daughter Ania, I spent the weekend at the place of our friend Janie Jasin, who lives in a picturesque town situated in the heart of Wisconsin. Janie has been a professional speaker for 33 years and is also the author of the book The Littlest Christmas Tree, which has sold over 1.5 million copies.
On the way back I was listening to a recorded interview … with whom? Exactly with Daniel Pink, who was talking about his book, declaring that like many of us he was starving for finding his path in life. He himself had been a lawyer for a considerable period of his life. But one day he simply abandoned his profession. He became a speaker and author. On the one hand I found this a crazy idea, but at the same time I felt inspired.

I examined my conscience as to the so-called ‘pros and cons’ and quite soon after, I quit my job.
Madness?
Would you like to ask me what happened next? Well, I began walking my own road...

And as a result, tt Now I want to inspire others to fulfil their dreams, to lead such a life for which they were born or called. If they carry a talent or dream, to always believe in it, try to ‘turn’ it into their work and daily bread..

Effects?
I will quote just two examples of influence on others due to my having dared to go ‘my own way.’ Such opinions are the highest award for me:

Casimir – I am inspired to take actions which I was about to give up! And now I know that my success is just a matter of time!
Elwira – … I did something like this for the first time … Even though I was told not to do it … It ended in success. I’m so proud of myself and this is only the beginning …

The best, safest and fastest road to a life filled with joy is doing simply what you love because your passion, fun, and love for that will attract new opportunities, people, and money–like a magnet!!!!

That’s why I’m addressing you personally, as if we were just now talking and drinking tea or coffee together: Give yourself the right to walk that road which gives you the most joy. As if your success was absolutely guaranteed.

Don’t hesitate to ask yourself at this very moment the following questions:
- What can you do today and during the next several months to share your unique talent with the world?
- What steps will you take for that purpose?
- When?

My dear,
Cultivate your passions and talents and follow what you love because thanks to this your life may change diametrically in a very fast time and really surprise you positively.

Tip #3 has changed my life and carrier, and it can change yours, too.

I always knew the importance of heritage, staying in touch with friends, family (especially when we are a continent apart), and not forgetting where "we came from." But this sentiment multiplied during my most recent visit to my homeland, Poland. Let me back peddle a bit.

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be-don't laugh-a rock star! While living in a poor household in a small town, my parents could never afford anything new for us for Christmas. So I worked for local farmers during my sixteenth summer and bought myself a new acoustic guitar that holiday season.
Oh, I practiced and practiced. I played in various bands through my teens, twenties, and thirties. When I was finally recorded professionally at age thirty-five, I realized why I still wasn't a rock star - I sucked! I sold my music gear and said goodbye to that particular childhood dream.

I had written simple songs while I was growing up in Poland-songs about our lives, struggles, parties, falling in love, crazy things we did, and hating the government and our country's hopelessness. To my great surprise, some of these songs survived in the memories of my family, friends, and even some of their children. Since 1995 (when my rock star-career-crashed in that recording studio) I had not done any live performances. I ignored my friends' continued requests to dust off my guitar, bring it with me to Poland, and play our "good old" tunes. But this year, I surrendered. I unearthed the demo recordings of many of my songs, found the lyrics, and practiced twenty tunes for my "2010 Poland Tour!" Traveling with a guitar in Poland-you can imagine how "simple" it is (not) with current airline regulations. I played a couple shows; I performed at my friends' children's weddings and at numerous parties and family gatherings. Like a street musician, I played just about everywhere.

What followed is one of the greatest stories of my life. First of all, because this time I played only for fun, and not to impress anyone, I didn't feel any pressure or worry about being criticized, ridiculed, or judged. I simply played for the joy of it and to bring joy to those who (if they could stand it) listen. Because these are MY tunes, I can do anything I want with them; and I do. I used some for my first company, Kids' Express Train, to help children with autism. I changed some to support and comfort those who are fighting cancer. I wrote new ones to make people smile and appreciate what we have here in America. I am using my limited musical gift to the fullest possible. And isn't that the greater achievement? To do the most with what we have been given?

Then the miracles started to happen. My mom came to me when I was packing and said, "Son, you brought so much joy into my life!" Oh, my mom loves to dance and sing and, even at 83, she does both very well. I saw my friends' faces light up as they listened to the old songs about us going fishing, drinking beer by the lake, or falling in and out of love. At one wedding, their children even requested specific tunes. My own daughter, who speaks only a few words in Polish (I know, shame on me!) asked me to sing one of the tunes again! And my music is nothing like the kind of music her generation listens to! By dusting off my guitar, songs, voice, courage, and heart, and reconnecting with something I always loved to do, I filled my own heart with joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, fun, happiness, and love, too. I still suck at it, but who cares? Nobody has complained so far, so why should I?

Inspired by my close friend, Janie Jasin (who once asked me about the "correct" way of doing the Polka - like I am supposed to know because I am from Poland... :)) and by my mother (who showed me how to Polka), I wrote a new song when I returned from this trip, "Polka All Around." The tune is now "a hit" during my presentations. I'd prefer not to be thought of as a "Polka star" (I grew up listening to Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, and the more "heavy metal" music), but I don't care! This feels good, and I can make this world a bit better one chord and one step at the time by touching the hearts and minds of those who dare listen to me :).

So now, I use songs regularly during my presentations. Dragging the guitar with me is a still pain in a dupa, but I have a grand new avenue for meeting and connecting with people. Something I love so much about America is that people LOVE music, and when Americans see a guy (okay, a middle-aged man now) walking along with a guitar-something different happens. People talk to me, and tell their stories. A pilot on my flight to Green Bay, Wisconsin, asked the flight attendant to move one of the passengers to make a room for my guitar next to me. I had to buckle it up. When I thanked her, she said, "The pilot is also a musician," and then she took this photo...

A taxi driver, the most cynical man you could meet, told me warm-hearted stories after we realized that we own the same kind of guitar. People sometimes stop me at the airport and strike up conversations just because I am carrying a guitar on my back. Wow! I wish I'd known all this 25 years ago!

Returning to something that was so much a part of "ME" seems obvious now, but how many of us have stopped doing something we enjoyed doing in the past? Playing an instrument? Camping? Playing chess? Wood carving? Yoga? Collecting stamps? Perhaps volunteering, meeting with friends, telling stories, traveling, or reading and writing. Whatever it is or was. I don't care. Maybe fixing an old car, fishing, crocheting, or building a guitar or computer. If you stopped doing a thing you loved, if you concluded (as I did after recording myself) that you are not good at it, that it is a waste of your time, that it leads nowhere and benefits no one, then let me tell you something, my friend: just as I was wrongly assuming that if I can't be very good at it or make money from it-it wasn't worth doing, you are wrong, too. There is a much greater reward for continuing to do what you love, and reconnecting (or connecting) with who you WERE and still ARE. The rewards are:
- JOY
- FUN
- and a better ATTITUDE!

With a better attitude you will do better at work and every other thing you do. With a better attitude you will become more creative and authentic at whatever you do, and that is much more important than complete mastery. Not every one of us can be a Jimmy Page or a Mozart, but we all can learn a few chords/notes and sing a song during the holidays.
Not every one of us can paint like Michaelangelo, but we can make snow angels with our children or grandchildren. Not every one of us can write like Shakespeare, but we all can write a few words to people we love.
Whatever you love to do, that you are not doing anymore, is perhaps the missing step you need to take to improve your attitude. Reconnecting is enjoyable (remember the excitement you had the day before going fishing or shopping?) and so powerful.

"Nothing is more important than reconnecting with your bliss. Nothing is as rich. Nothing is more real." ~ Deepak Chopra

How to better your attitude through connecting/reconnecting...
1. Schedule 1 hour for yourself without any interruptions.
2. Look back on life and recall the most joyous times and events. Think what you enjoy doing now.
3. List the activities:
a.
b.
c.
4. Pick the top two.
5. Don't pay attention to your mind saying that you are too old for that, or that you will look or sound ridiculous, or that you have no time or money. That is BS! When there is a will, there is way, right?
6. Start doing both tomorrow. Soon you will see which one you can continue on with and which one you might pick up next year.
7. Record how you feel during such activities and remind yourself about those feelings often. Those special moments are hard to reproduce, but you can use those memories to reinforce your good attitude.
8. "Show off" in front of family and friends. Don't ask for feedback or critique; this is not a contest anymore. This is for joy only, so watch how others respond and take a mental snapshot. I am certain that you will receive honest smiles, compliments, and admiration.
9. Watch your attitude improve.

For other ideas on how to connect or reconnect with yourself, the world around you, and with what you love to do, please visit this site...

The Internet is an ocean of information, a tool to make (and spend) money, and a borderless universe full of places, people, and all kinds of interactions. But, with all its might, it gives us a false impression (perhaps for the next generation it seems more REAL) that being connected with thousands of friends via cables or air can be fulfilling by itself. In my opinion the most powerful connection is one between you and your passion; and as such, it often requires us to step away from the virtual world and step into who we are and what we love to do, and DOING IT! Do it in front of people, with people, for people, for our better future.

Connect and reconnect, my fellow Americans; your attitude depends on it.

Smiles,
Chez

Chez speaks on ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT.
Check out his latest video from a presentation in WI where he presented to Janie Jasin: www.1moment.us

“If you have much, give your wealth; if you have little, give your heart.”

Tip #2 for a better attitude is almost as simple as #1 (get enough sleep). This one—help someone; do a good deed, no matter how small or ordinary it will be—will fill your heart with love and pride and make someone out there happy!

If you want to have even more fun with it, boost your attitude and give strength to your self-esteem: Do a good deed and then DON’T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT!

I see websites/blogs/email/texts/tweets/you name it out there bragging (we all do that—including me) about what they did for others. Hey, I am fine with that. This is a free country and you can definitely talk about your good heart and good deeds. But if you want the power to change how you live forever—send me an email to learn more about the “silent” approach to good deeds.

Just like a car engine tune-up and maintenance requires adjustments to many parts (from tires through spark plugs)—our attitude requires the occasional “tweak” that affects many of our “parts” from head to toe, from decision-making to the information we absorb, from the people we associate with to what we watch on television. There is no “magic pill” to fix an attitude overnight. Just like it “takes a village” to raise a child, it takes all our gifts, talents, desires, tasks, plans, and aspirations to create the best and most effective attitude possible.

So…this little item of doing a good deed can help you tremendously when it comes to attitude. Give it a shot! It doesn’t cost anything to hold a door for someone, help someone carry groceries, let someone in line ahead of you, or smile to a stranger…see what I mean? If you want to take it farther, great! Go for it. More power (and good attitude!) to you, my friend.

Doing good deeds for others can actually improve your health. A scientific study showed that people who carry out charity work and other good deeds, such as helping with a neighbor’s gardening, experience less anger and stress, and feel more positive and self-confident.

The findings suggest there is truth to the old adage that, as we help others, we also help ourselves.

The University of Sussex Mindlab measured stress levels and other emotions of a group of men and women who performed good deeds for nine days. Dr. David Lewis, the psychologist who conducted the research, said, “Being more considerate can reduce stress levels.

And we all know that the effects of stress on the body are well documented: stress can suppress the immune system, lead to a rise in blood pressure, increase risk of heart attack and stroke, and contribute to infertility.

“Therefore to improve our chances of being healthy, we should all start doing good to others today.”

Ideally I should not tell you about my good deeds, but I want to demonstrate some that I have done, so you can see how well this works with a true example:

In general, I ask a lot of questions the people I meet. While in Poland last summer, I did that (in Polish). So, my friends, their children, my brothers and sisters told me about their lives—and their problems, of course, as we usually do. I took all that information to heart and when I returned home, I took some time to set some priorities so that I could I respond to several people with help in a variety of ways.

1. The wife of one of my best friends has a brain tumor. She was complaining about having headaches while I was there, and soon after I left she was diagnosed with the woeful problem. I asked her to create an email account. We exchange weekly emails, so I know how she is doing, and I can give her messages of hope, love, and prayers. I help her in some other ways, too, but you don’t need to know everything J

2. A young relative is having marriage troubles. Divorces are not as “popular” in Poland as they are in the U.S. and they have extra worries about marital failure in light of their Catholic tradition. I stay in touch with both and support them in any way I can.

3. A young family friend contacted me via Facebook and told me about the abuse she experiences at home. This one is hard to deal with at a distance, because the very thing I’d like to do is to fly there and kick the “pieklo” out of her father. Happily, her situation is getting better and she is back in school.

Understand that none of these people really asked for my help. I offer my help because I care about them. I write this because I care about you as well. I hope that at the end of my life, my GOOD DEEDS will outnumber the BAD ONES.

Plus…I can tell you how I feel after sending emails of support to these people, after talking to them on the phone, after hearing the tiny notes of hope in their voices. I know that each of my messages added something to their lives and future, and I am a better person and in return…my attitude and self-esteem have received a boost of strength.

1. Wake up, smell the roses, count your blessings, open your eyes, and think about who might need your help.

6. Every day keep your eyes open. If you look for a “good deed” opportunity, you will find them everywhere. Repeat #4 and 5.

7. Make a written note about the good deeds you do, so when times will get tough for you, you can be reminded of the good you have done for others. Believe me, you will feel really good!

“You may be only one person in this world, but to one person at one time, you are the world.”

Chez speaks on ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT.
Check out his latest video from a presentation in WI where he presented to Janie Jasin: www.1moment.us

"Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds." ~ JoJo Jensen, Dirt Farmer Wisdom, 2002

Attitude is not only everything—it affects EVERY THING in your life! In a nutshell—attitude is your thoughts turned into your mood, which manifests through your body language. Can’t hide it. It is in your shaky hands, sweaty forehead, tight jaw, crossed arms, the way you walk, talk, drive, communicate, look, feel, smell. Got the point, right? In the weeks to come, please check here for more ideas for how we can improve our attitude (read: improve our life!). But today, I start with one that is the easiest of all—it doesn’t cost anything, it’s painless, and you can do it IN YOUR SLEEP!

Yes, it’s about getting more/enough sleep, my friend. Do you ever take a look at the people driving to work in the morning? Or when they enter a building? Or when they grab that first cup of coffee? How many of them look happy, content, and rested? Most of us look tired. We are tired. But to a new person who just came to do business, apply for a job, buy a product from you, hire you, meet you for the first time, you don’t just look tired—you look grumpy, angry, frustrated, unmotivated, and worn out. How they see you is one thing, but how you feel is another. Your attitude will have one heck of a time staying positive if you start the day without enough energy to even have a positive brain fart in the morning, give a smile to a stranger, ask a question in a break room, or enjoy the job we have and the life we live.

Let the numbers talk now…
1. When you sit around a table at home, work, or restaurant, look to your left and look to your right. If the people on both sides of you look healthy and rested, it is YOU who is suffering from insomnia. Yes, every 3rd person in America suffers from insomnia.

2. According to the U.S. Treasury a dollar bill is.0043 inches thick. A stack a mile high will give you over 14 million bills. There is 1000 millions in one billion, so…$14 billion dollars would make a 1,000-mile-high stack. That equals the distance from Minneapolis to Dallas, TX, or Buffalo NY and a bit farther. Well, that number is also how much healthcare and medication costs the U.S. government a year for people suffering from insomnia. So, instead of blaming government for all our troubles, perhaps we should help our country and ourselves by getting more sleep :)

3. More! Would you like to walk to Buffalo, NY, on the road covered with dollar bills? Well, you can walk back to Minneapolis the same way using another road paved with money, too! Because absenteeism and lowered productivity due to sleep deprivation costs U.S. industries even more—over $150 BILLION dollars a year. You want to help our economy (yes, and yourself)? Then get more sleep!

4. National Sleep Foundation research shows that sleepy drivers are involved in about 100,000 vehicle accidents every year. You do the calculations. I need a nap!

Here is the boring data…those of you who drink 6 cans of Mountain Dew to keep you going may find this interesting (source: http://ezinearticles.com)…
Sleep…
• Repairs body tissues at a cellular level, and helps combat the effects of stress, pollution, infection and more.
• Keeps your heart healthy and strong by lowering levels of stress and inflammation in your body, and lowering blood pressure and heart rate.
• Lowers levels of stress hormones in your body. High levels of these hormones are believed to increase the aging and degeneration of your organs and cells.
• Improves memory and cognitive function. The organization and storing of memories takes place during sleep. If you're short of sleep, your memory suffers.
• Harvard Medical School research concluded that REM sleep seems to be essential for learning how to do things. “Sleep on it” takes on a whole new meaning!
• Helps control body weight by regulating the hormones that affect your appetite.

How to get more and better-quality sleep…
1. Get the most comfortable and supportive bed you can afford.
2. Use the best pillow you can find.
3. Develop a night-time routine.
4. Go to bed/get up at regular times each day.
5. Nap.
6. Exercise. Get serious about this. Walking is okay; and if you get really tired, you will sleep like a baby.

Sleep, Americans, your attitude depends on it.

Chez speaks on ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT.

This summer I spoke to a group of students in Poland who were part of a creative program sponsored by the European Union: a nine-month bartending course for people in their early twenties who cannot find jobs or have no profession.

I spoke about the value of customer service – an area that needs a lot of attention in this young democracy. I was amazed how little the students knew about the importance of creating a fabulous first impression, delivering excellent customer service, and building a rapport to create loyalty/repeat business. These young people were still under the influence of the outdated, communist approach: “I am in charge because I have the goods!”

The results of our time together were amazing. Within the first fifteen minutes, students who (according to the instructor) were usually dispassionate, uncontrollable, and cynical began raising their hands and asking great (but basic) questions and sharing ideas. Even the instructor was paying attention.

Within one week, some good news arrived: the student who was the greatest skeptic about what he heard (he even answered his cell phone during the first few minutes of my presentation and spent some time talking while the class and I waited patiently) found a job by employing the exact ideas I shared with his class! Soon after, the instructor asked me to speak again with another group.

Obviously the young people in a brand new democracy will need help with many aspects of doing business/delivering service; but I also find—and I see it everywhere I go—that even here, in the great USA, many employees lack the understanding of how a first impression (and what follows) can impact the future of their company/business and consequently their own lives.

If your team struggles because your people lack this important knowledge and motivation, please let me know. I guarantee I can help you.

Your people need to clearly see the connection between their personal success and the company’s success. They don’t come to work to make you “rich.” They come so they can have resources to do what they wish to do in their personal lives.

Training is most effective if split 50/50 between technical and personal. Your team will more enthusiastically sell your products and services, and promote what you do if they are also growing as individuals.

Adopt a global mindset. Changes are happening on the other side of the world: cheaper products, higher education, faster growth, greater desire to achieve, easy transfer of knowledge, quick and inexpensive availability of talent and resources (see: www.guru.com). None of us can afford to live in a bubble that can burst with the next recession or with our own particular market downturn. The world is not going to stop changing. We must change with it.

Read: The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Friedman

Know where you are going as a company or a team. Show and explain your plan to your team–even if you are not sure where you will be in a year or five. Show them how they will benefit as the company grows. Remember: no involvement, no commitment. Have your people work hard for you (and have fun, too) because they know where they are going, are involved directly with success, and feel recognized.

You have much more talent on your team than you may think. If you can (and should) tap into that resource, you will get much more than eight hours a day of “good” work from your people–you will get their passion and a desire to complete their tasks on time and well. Let them shine and grow. Nurture and draw out your people’s passion and talent.

What happened in Poland during my meeting with the European Union-sponsored group can happen anywhere – including your business, organization, or company. It is very easy to fall into bad habits and forget the power that first impressions create, and how the service we provide determines our personal and professional success.

"The feedback from your ‘First Impression’ talk was extremely positive!"
~ Stephanie Kibler, Director of Program Development & Communications

* Polish: How are you?

It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do. It's the most rewarding experience you'll ever have. It's the reality of being in love.

Twin Cities poet and motivational speaker, Chez Raginiak, realized this and much more when he began compiling poetry for his most recent book so perfectly titled In Love two years ago.

"In Love is a collection of poems I have written over the years when my mind and heart were swimming in the ocean of those passions, desires and unforgettable, unmatchable feelings of loving someone and being loved in return," Raginiak explained. "I have felt the sun from both sides, and I share its warmth with you through this book."

Flooded with a resounding voice of passion, In Love serves as a reminder of both why we love and how our rawest emotions transform those closest to our hearts.

"This book will help readers see that love is all around us," Raginiak said. "We just need to see it, feel and let it come to us."

In addition to its 22 emotionally-moving pieces of poetry, In Love also offers readers unique benefits, such as pieces in both Spanish and Polish. It also includes poems "WILL YOU BE MY AIR" and "I WILL BE YOUR AIR" that can replace traditional wedding vows, thus creating a unique and memorable moment that will last a lifetime.

Though he keeps the subject of this passionate work a secret, only writing "To you..." in the book's dedication, it's easy to see that whether it was in the past, or is in the present, Raginiak was or is totally and undisputedly - in love.

EXCERPT: MY DREAM

My dream,
where a flawless world exists—
a rousing place of pleasures,
passionate desires, and satisfied love.

In it, you,
with your lips half-open,
like a silent fog that moistens sleepy meadows,
you stroke my thirsty lips with yours.

"Don't leave!" you whisper to me at sunrise.
I wake up and kiss your still half-open lips.

Click here for more information on In Love or to place an order.

After entering America with nothing but what was on his back, Polish native Chez Raginiak remembers the joy he felt buying his first pair of American blue jeans in 1985.

Raginiak, an award-winning author and motivational speaker, was born in 1960, and grew up in communist Poland. The Apple Valley resident recently wrote "Learn English Without Teachers," a book offering 16 techniques and tips to help aid learning English. The book is available in English, Spanish, Polish and Hmong. A Somalian translation is already under way.

Raginiak believes that first-generation immigrants must embrace the new culture by learning English as fast as possible in order to live a successful life in America.

"I went through that pain," Raginiak said. "When you know the language and culture, you are truly a thread in the fabric."

It's something he knows from first-hand experience.

Raginiak and five other siblings grew up in a small town in northeast Poland, ironically called "Land of 1,001 Lakes." During his childhood, the country began falling into a state of political chaos. Martial Law went into effect in December 1981, and the communist government embedded itself in Raginiak's town within hours.

As a 21-year-old, Raginiak, started participating in anti-communist strikes. Soon, the family was placed on the government's blacklist for their beliefs and participation in strikes. The political turmoil in the country led to the loss of hope and ultimately death.

"My father at age 65 left home and never returned," Raginiak said. "His body was found 40 days later in the river because he refused to join the party."

While continuing to participate in anti-communist government strikes and working full-time for a mere 50 cents a day, Raginiak was renting a tiny room with another man.
No hot water.
One toilet.
One sink.
"If you wanted to take a shower, it was one week in advance in the landlord's up stairs," Raginiak said.

Due to his beliefs, Raginiak and some of his friends were brutally beaten by the police and arrested at a bus stop. By this point, the 23-year-old decided he'd had enough.

"The next morning, I returned to the bus stop, and I looked at our blood stains on the cement floor, and said 'That's it, that will do,'" Raginiak said.

Fleeing the country was his only option for survival. Hearing about a refugee camp in Austria, Raginiak borrowed two years worth of wages from a friend (about $200 dollars). and got on a bus to leave the country under the pretexts of seeing former Polish Pope John Paul II in Italy in May 1985.

"The only way at that time to leave the country was to have a good pretexts to leave the communist nation and go to a free country," Raginiak said. "The passports and visas were kept in the police station."

Making it to Venice, Italy, Raginiak left the group he was traveling with and skirted the border between Italy and Austria as far as the train would take him.

"I ate my last slice of bread and my last can of tuna," Raginiak said. "Then I hit the road."

Crossing the Alps on foot and making his way into Austria, Raginiak bought a train ticket to Vienna where he believed the refugee camp was with the last of his money. Being told that he was supposed to go to the police station for help, Raginiak ended up getting kicked out of five different stations. Frustrated and hopeless, he had no idea what to expect next.

"I had no money, no idea what's going on, nowhere to go," he said. "I was hungry, scared and thirsty. Oh man, it was the toughest time."

After finally getting some information on where to go next, Raginiak obtained a ticket to Traiskirchen, Austria, where the refugee camp was located.

"I arrived around midnight and knocked on the gate and they said, 'No, we're closed for the night. Come back tomorrow morning,'" Raginiak said. "So I went to the park, slept on the bench, covered myself with the towel I had. Boy, was it cold."

Raginiak later found out that he was kicked out of the police stations because he was illegally in Austria. Nonetheless, he had made it into the camp and was glad to be out of Poland.

"After some background and health checks, you wait," he said. "I was expecting maybe years in the refugee camp."

Four months later, Raginiak was invited to the American Embassy in Austria. He and the other refugees received American asylum, which provided care and protection to the fleeing immigrants. On Dec. 11, 1985, Raginiak and the other refugees flew to the United States.

Raginiak didn't know what was in store for him after ending up in Des Moines.

"The snow was so high against the windows I couldn't see outside," he said. "So that was the first shocker."

He was taken to the small town of Clarion, Iowa, with the First Lutheran Church as his sponsor. In 1987, Raginiak moved to Minneapolis, and found work where he could. All the while learning English and American culture, Raginiak received his first two-year degree in computer programming and then his four-year degree in information technology management.

His American Dream was starting to become a reality.

Good friend and speech-language pathologist Rachel Arnston pitched an idea to have Raginiak record a CD for her students to sing along with. With a grant from the Osseo School District, the two released their first CD, called "Wake Up to the World of Words." Spurred on with their success, the two went on to partner in their business, Kids' Express Train."

After speaking with a group of people about how it feels to be a first- generation immigrant, Raginiak realized he could help people who feel the same frustrations he felt.

"Hardly ever first-generation immigrants have a voice," Raginiak said.

After speaking to the president of the Minnesota Chapter of the National Speakers Association, Raginiak started speaking professionally two years ago. He quit his day job and starting a new career as a professional speaker. Raginiak felt he needed to have credentials.

"There's no better credentials than a book," he said.

Raginiak wrote his first book, "My Escape To Freedom," about his past, which is expressed chronologically through poetry. The book won an award from the Midwest Independent Publishers Association. The book is a way of giving back to the country that gave him such great opportunity.

"What can I do to make our country better, stronger?" Raginiak said. "How about I give them [immigrants] instructions on how to assimilate. My dream is to have this little book available to those entering the country as I did," Raginiak said.

As a proud American citizen and father of two daughters, Raginiak is grateful for the opportunity he was given. Though the success has been good to him, he remembers where he came from and what it took to get here.

"Money was never my drive," he said. "It's more about possibility and potential."

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Award-Winning Author's Little Book Has Big Message For New Immigrants.

Chez Raginiak ('03) has a big message for anyone who has immigrated to America and everyone who knows or works with immigrants and refugees. His little book, Learn English Without Teachers, offers16 simple techniques that Raginiak used to learn English outside the classroom, along with tips to reinforce learning and build self-confidence. The book, which was recently named a finalist in the Midwest Book Awards for books published in 2009, is currently available in Spanish, Polish and Hmong as well as English.

While language is one of the most crucial survival skills for first-generation immigrants, many do not enjoy the luxury of formal education. Raginiak, who fled communist Poland in 1985, learned English the hard way: by immersion in American culture after he arrived here.
“In order to survive in a new country, buy groceries, pay for gasoline, or obtain my driver’s license, I had to speak and understand the language,” explains Raginiak. “This need was my motivation from the very beginning for finding creative ways to learn and speak English.”

In America, learning English is the solution to finding opportunity in “the land of equality,” Raginiak maintains. Learn English Without Teachers is an important tool not only for immigrants. Community agencies that serve immigrant populations and businesses that employ a multicultural workforce can incorporate this book to improve the quality of communication for everyone involved. Many problems can be prevented when people are able to understand and effectively communicate with one another.

The exercises are simple and anyone can do them, according to Raginiak. Essential ingredients for success are a good attitude and the belief that they can and will improve their lives over time, he adds. The book is small enough to fit in a pocket or handbag.
Raginiak’s dream is that all newcomers to this country would be given this book in their own language. “This simple book will help immigrants learn English outside the classroom but, more importantly, will help them assimilate and begin to feel more at home here,” he says.
Learn English Without Teachers is published by 1Moment, LLC. It is available for purchase online at www.barnesandnoble.com. Spanish, Hmong and Polish translations of the book are available in PDF format at www.1moment.us.

Chez Raginiak, award-winning author and speaker, is president of 1Moment, LLC and co-founder of Kids’ Express Train, LLC. He is the 2009-2010 National Speakers Association’s Diversity PEG co-chair. Chez graduated from Hennepin Technical College in 2000 and Concordia University, St. Paul in 2003.

Our youngest daughter, Jackie, turned 10 years old in April of 1991. The prior Christmas season she was asked, “What would you like for Christmas?” Her response was simple…”a horse”. Well, that didn’t happen. As her 10th birthday approached she was asked…”Is there anything special you’d like for your birthday?” Her answer?…”a horse”. As Christmas approached again it was the same question and the same answer…A HORSE! What to do?

A couple days before Christmas, I was cleaning and my wife, Cindy, asked “What are we going to get Jackie for Christmas? All she ever talks about is a horse.” I said I don’t know; you’re the oldest girl in the house, what would a 10 year old girl like? No answer.

A while later Cindy came to me as I was vacuuming. She asked “If Jackie could prove that she was responsible enough to have a horse, would you let her have one?” We had a small acreage and yes was my response. As a boy, I had a horse and knew the work and joy involved in having that special friend/pet. But, I asked, “How is she going to prove to me that a little 10 year old girl is responsible enough to take care of a horse?” Once again, no answer.

Cindy came back a third time and said “What about this?” The result was; we dropped everything, and drove to the only tack shop that indicated they were still open that day to go shopping.

For Christmas Jackie received a saddle blanket, a grooming brush and glued to a piece of Plexiglas were the first 2 pieces of a 150 piece jigsaw puzzle of a horse ranch. On the back of the Plexiglas was glued the following letter:

Dear Jackie,

This is a very special puzzle. And, although the pieces are various sizes, shapes and colors, they all have the same meaning. You can get puzzle pieces by doing jobs above and beyond your normal responsibilities. You can get puzzle pieces as gifts. Or, you can buy puzzle pieces at a cost of $10.00 a piece. When this puzzle is complete you will have $1,500.00 in the bank. And at that time, if you still desire, that will pay for a small shelter, a fence and we will go shopping for a horse.

Merry Christmas,

Love,
Mom & Dad

We planned on this taking a couple years. By that time she might be more interested in cars but even so, she’d have the $1,500.00 in the bank. When asked what she’d like for her following birthday it was “puzzle pieces”. When asked by anyone else what she wanted for a gift it was the same, “puzzle pieces”.

Jackie took two regular baby sitting jobs that year. When weather permitted she rode her bike 1 ½ miles to begin babysitting at 7:00 a.m. At 2:00 p.m. she left and went a couple blocks to the other family where she baby sat from 2:30 p.m. until 6:00 p.m. Whenever we went shopping she walked right past the candy displays. And, every Saturday she would purchase puzzle pieces. At the beginning of August, 1992 Jackie was now 11 years old and as a matter of Congratulations, Pride and Joy, Cindy and I purchased and gave to Jackie the 150th (final) piece of that 150 piece jigsaw puzzle. We thought we’d have at least a couple years to watch her complete the puzzle but she did it in 8 months.

Jackie got her horse (Dolly) and took very good care of her.

As I was talking to Cindy about Chez and his experiences I got to thinking about Jackie. How many great ideas like Cindy’s puzzle idea amount to nothing because someone else does not do their part. I realized at that moment how awesome it was to have Jackie buy in to the idea and accept responsibility for dreaming, doing and succeeding. I’m really lucky to have these two girls in my life.

Gerry

On the very last day of 2009, as I looked at dozens of videos from the 100 free presentations I delivered throughout the year, I noticed that one question was asked more than any other. Just about everywhere I went and spoke with an adult audience, people expressed concerns about how to motivate their children to be successful in school, to study, to grow to be mature, realistic, independent, and trustworthy.

I don’t have a degree in child behavior or psychology, but I have experience with my two children who for most of the time are naturally quite motivated. Because I am a first-generation immigrant, I still have (and enjoy very much) a bit of an “outsider” look that helps me see things without the filter of traditions, popular culture, habits, or social or peer pressure.

My older daughter, Monika, went to the Carlson School of Management at the U of MN with 60 credits that she earned during the final two years of high school. That (plus taking a couple of classes during the summer) will allow her finish her four-year degree in three years with two majors (International Business and Marketing) and two minors (Spanish and Sociology). She started her own company last year (“My Life Rocks, LLC”) and plans on enrolling at the U of Chicago in 2011 for her MBA. She coaches a high-school soccer team, serves as a Vice President of the Pledge Education on the Professional Business Fraternity, and works for an insurance group in her “spare” time.

My younger daughter, Ania, just started high school. She is doing her homework each day, swims on a team, plays in the school band, and just started track and field.

So, so far so good, and I hope and do all I can so they both stay on track.

When I considered what helps them be motivated, I discovered several good ways. Today, I address one of them:
WHAT WE, THEIR PARENTS, CAN DO TO HELP...

Instead of looking outside for help with our “unmotivated” children, let's start with a look at what we do currently and what we can do
.
We all know that some of the issues our children have to overcome are very different than what we encountered as children. But we can do a “reality check” of sorts on our own behavior. This is absolutely the best place to start in helping our kids.

So, if you……
1. Watch too much television and spend too much time on Facebook, Internet, email – your children will do the same.
Are they doing that? If so, cut your time with the virtual world and watch what happens. If you use the extra time and your imagination, you will soon have more and higher quality time and a stronger real connection with your children. The amount of screen time children experience is astronomical compared to our growing years. While considering this tip, think about your child’s brain development, especially in the frontal lobe, which is developing during the teen years. Children and teens are more affected by the potential dangers of technology than adults who have already completed the growth of most of our brain power. We need to set the example, so that when our child’s brain is prepared to make better decisions, he or she will be equipped with the understanding of the need for balance and limits to their screen time.

If you…
2. Admire and worship sports or Hollywood celebrities and stars – they will do the same.
Those stars and celebrities create an illusion for our children that allows them to naively believe in an easy living. When those celebrities and stars fail – and they often do – our children become cynical and disillusioned. By then, the real world created by hard work and daily routines seems too boring and difficult for them. They escape to another illusion or pleasure. The members of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers in UK are “appalled at the extent of the decline in this country into the cult of celebrity, which is perverting children’s aspirations and expectations.” They say: “This compounds the subsequent sense of failure, alienation, and low self-esteem when celebrity status is not achieved.” (1)
UK is not USA, but… does it sound familiar?

If you…
3. Use the language of negativity, power, sarcasm, and disrespect?
Change your attitude, show your child that you can be kind, genuine, and respectful and see what happens over time. Also remember that teenagers, in particular, are experimenting with the social skills they need for the future. They also have hormones that do not always cooperate or make it easy to have the skills to be appropriate with words and actions. We parents are the ones who must change the pattern of disrespectful or negative language. Analyze how much you simply comment on positive things with your child versus commands or directives that are more negative. Try the 4 to 1 rule – 4 positive comments to every 1 negative.

If you…
4. Work too much and have no time for a game or a kind-hearted conversation at a dinner table (if you eat dinners together) – they will do the same with you and with their future families. Find time for a sincere conversation with your children, make dinners together, show that you care what they do, what they plan, and how they see the world. Watch what happens over time.

If you…
5. Give them things without your children having to work for them - they will grow up feeling entitled and will not respect the items they are given or the people who give them. I know that you want to “give the world” to your children. Still, “easy come, easy go.” By nature, most of us don’t respect things that come to us without any work. Ask your children what they would like to have. Come up with a creative idea how they can receive it through either saving for the item or earning it. Start with something small and see how much more it will be cherished and taken care of. Then, expand to major items: cars, college, home. They called it “sweat equity” for a reason J

Please share with me your stories and ideas via email: chez@1moment.us
Visit my website and read about my new keynote: www.1moment.us
Does your team speak the languages of success?

Award-winning Speaker & Author of My Escape To Freedom and Learn English Without Teachers
Co-founder of Kids’ Express Train, LLC – www.expresstrain.org
President of 1Moment, LLC - www.1moment.us

Fled Communist Poland and settled in Clarion in 1985

By KAREN WELD Messenger correspondent

On Dec. 11, 1985, with the help of members of the First Lutheran Church of Clarion and the community as a whole, he had a new home in America.

Raginiak took Clarion residents back through his childhood, his beginnings in America, and his life today, when he spoke to an audience at the Clarion Public Library Sunday evening.

"I crossed the Alps between Italy and Austria on foot in order to reach a refugee camp where I lived for six months," he said. "I sold everything I had for money to take with me and I didn't have much."

The youngest of six children, he didn't tell anyone, not even his family, of his plans to escape.

But that is just a portion of the story of Raginiak, who is now an American citizen, an author, a speaker, a businessman and an entrepreneur.

Recalling those days under Communist rule and the efforts by Polish officials to keep control of what was the beginnings of labor unrest, in the early 1980s, Raginiak said it wasn't uncommon for people to be beaten by government officials, have soldiers come into their homes unannounced, and live in a constant state of fear.

The happiest day of Raginiak's life was when he learned that he would be able to come to the United States after his escape and brief stay in the refugee camp, he said.

"At that time there were only three countries taking refugees: Australia, Canada, and the U.S.," he said.

Raginiak was from a city of about 1,000 people in northeast Poland, so coming to a community the size of Clarion wasn't as big a shock as was the cold and snowy weather, he said.

But what really took Raginiak by surprise was the warm, caring hearts of all the people of the area.

"It was really shocking to me how good-hearted everyone was," he said. "The United States has the most giving people in the world."

At the time, Raginiak had no money, no job, no family, and knew only a few words of the English language.

"It was just a few months before I got my first job at Allen Printing Company (Clarion)," he said. "And Clarion people were kind enough to give me things I needed. Some people helped me to practice my English."

He still recalls buying his first pair of new jeans ever when he was 26 on a shopping trip to Target while he was in Omaha.

"As soon as it was possible for me to become an American citizen, I filled out the necessary paperwork and became a citizen," he said.

Today, Raginiak is the founder and owner of two successful businesses: Kids' Express Train, a company that enhances children's speech through music and fun; and IMoment, his speaking and writing company. In 2009, he has embarked on his "Giving Back to America" speaking tour, giving a series of free presentations to companies, organizations, churches, and schools.

"America is a country where a person like me can start with nothing," he said. "Good people like this community helped me. But then it was time for me begin pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. I knew I couldn't always rely on others to help me. I needed to learn all I could to help myself."

Raginiak said he has never forgotten where he came from and the difficulty of those early days of his life.

And he has attempted to instill some of those values on his 19-year-old daughter, Monika.

"I have traveled several times back to Poland," he said. "Monika has gone with me on several occasions. A few years ago, she wanted an iPod. I told her to think about her request. The iPod would cost me the same amount as coal to heat my mom's home for the winter in Poland. I wanted her to think about on which should I spent my money and to let me know in the morning."

To the younger people in Sunday night's listening audience, Raginiak challenged them to awaken America's youth.

"The world is rapidly shrinking," he said. "There is so much speed of information. Countries are developing quickly. American youth are no longer competing against one another. They will now be competing with those from Third World countries who have PhDs and 10 years of experience. They will work harder for less."

Raginiak told that this area and this country are still both areas of opportunity.

"We have to believe it," he said. "We can achieve it. Don't bother to look at the negative stuff around you. America is still a great experiment in the making. Stay involved. Become educated. We can make this country even better than it is today as we grow and get ready for the next generation."

Chez Raginiak, a dynamic speaker and award-winning author, tells his story of leaving his native Poland—at the time a Communist country— in 1985 at age 25, his arrival in the U.S., and his American dream.
He is an owner/business director of Kids’ Express Train, a company that develops language/speech improvement CDs for children, and 1Moment, LLC – his speaking and writing company.

For someone raised in a Communist country, Target is a whole new world. Chez Raginiak celebrated new clothes shortly after arriving in the U.S. in 1985.

Immigration is one of the compelling issues that the next U.S. president will have to address. The topic is complex, not easily reduced to a pithy sound bite much less any simple solutions. Often lost in the discussion is what immigration looks and feels like for those involved—immigrants who’ve risked their lives, left their families and home countries and everything familiar to start anew in the U.S.

One such person is Chez Raginiak. Raginiak was born and raised in Communist Poland. In 1985, at age 25, he left Poland for a life in the free world. He found himself in an Austrian refugee camp, sharing close quarters with other refugees. Eventually, he was granted a visa, and through an Iowa church congregation, arrived in Iowa, prepared to begin a new life.

At the time, he didn’t speak English and everything in American culture and customs was unfamiliar. But more than 20 years later, he has a college degree, his English is flawless, nimble, and fluent, and whose energy and vision has propelled him to establish his own company, achieve distinction as a speaker and leader, and has led him toward becoming a member of the National Speakers Association in the future.

The following Q & A is an expanded version of one he did recently, published in the Chanhassen Villager. He describes life in Poland, his family, how he came to the U.S., and what it means to be an American.

A: During my childhood, I did not understand any of the Cold War politics and dynamics. All I knew was that, with my five older siblings out of the house, I helped my mother deal with an alcoholic father and brother. From age 10 until I left Poland at 25, I lived in constant fear of one of them coming home drunk and furious, and fighting with anybody, for any reason. In addition, it was becoming more and more unbearable in Poland by the end of the 70s and the early 80s due to the failing political system. During those years, half of the population joined the workers’ union, Solidarity. I participated in strikes and anti-government demonstrations. We did all we could to bring the oppressive government down. Martial law went into effect on Dec. 13, 1981?

A: I shared a 10 by 14-foot room with a roommate. Six guys rented three rooms next to each other in the basement of a house. We shared one bathroom with no hot water or shower, and to take a shower in the upstairs bathroom (only one per week) we had to arrange it with the landlord. I had not money and not better job in sight.. That was it for me, and I could no longer accept such a life.

A: Polish officials did not issue passports to ordinary citizens who wanted to visit the West. However, the government could not prevent us from seeing the Holy Father, the Polish Pope in Italy, since 95 percent of Poles were Catholics. I needed two years of wages—$200— to pay for my ticket out of Poland. Fortunately, someone lent me that enormous sum. I traveled with limited resources— a can of tuna, two slices of bread, and about $25— and crossed the lower Alps and went around the border crossing. I arrived at the camp in Traiskirchen after its gates were closed. That night, I slept on a bench in the park covered with a towel I carried with me. Next morning, I entered the camp.

A: After being processed and providing information for background checks and getting medical checks, we were housed in rooms with 10 or more roommates. Officially, we were not allowed to work outside the camp, but in reality most of us did. The pay was low (about $1.50/hr), the shifts were long (I often worked 12-hour shifts, 6 or 7 days per week), and the treatment was often heartless. Nevertheless, we accepted any job we were offered from local farmers or construction companies. We needed money. And, we needed to stay busy to stay sane.

A: The greatest obstacle was lack of language skills. I came to America not knowing the English language at all. Nobody in Clarion spoke Polish, so the communication was rough at first. I always have the feeling that I am catching up with everything around me, that at age 48 I am where I could have been at 25 if I had been born here. I can finally speak the language, communicate, support myself and my children. It took years of learning, adjusting, and planning. I have so many dreams and hopes, and I fear that I will run out of time.

A: At first, my answer was a quick, “Of course!” Now, with passing time and the realization of how important family is, I am not so sure. Still, life is too short to live it in one place, and spending it in the USA vs. a small town in Poland under Communism then seemed like a much better alternative. I am able to help my family back home, and show my children the world, so they can grow up as global citizens with a global understanding of issues. And, of course, if I hadn’t come here I would not have my children, and I can’t imagine my life without them. I would do it differently, but I would do it again.

Q: How did you come to develop language/speech CDs for children? Do you have a partner?

A: Rachel Arntson, Speech-Language Pathologist, a good friend of mine approached me several years ago with an idea to write and record a CD with songs her students could sing. Soon after that, we recorded and released the first CD, “Wake Up to the World of Words” through a grant through the Osseo School District. The response from kids, parents, and staff in the district was so great that we decided to go on our own and re-release the first CD. During the next few years, we recorded 7 more CDs (the last two are in Spanish). We became partners and sell those wonderful CDs worldwide.

Q: What can native English speakers do to help newcomers as they learn the English language?

A: Be respectful. Don’t make assumptions. Learn a few words and phrases in the newcomer’s language. Speak clearly. Explain idioms, slang, and colloquial expressions. Put yourself in their shoes.

A: When I came to America, I quickly wrote to my family to clarify the common belief about money. I wrote to them, “The streets of America are NOT covered with money!” Twenty years later, I wrote to them on the same subject again and reversed my opinion: there is money lying on the streets here, we just need to learn how to see it.
There is an opportunity everywhere in the USA. One can start a business of any sort – from landscaping to software development. Unfortunately most newcomers focus too much on money-making and surviving – often, that is the only way they know how to live. Education and knowledge of the language is the key not only to basic stability, but to a fulfilling and happy life as well.

My biggest advice? Learn English 24 hrs/day. Learn as soon as you can. Use it everywhere. You do that and good things will happen.